So WHY in the world would I choose to kick off The Boss Lady Blog Tour with a confession about how often I really, seriously think about chucking my dreams in favor of a steady paycheck and group health insurance?
Wanting to quit is a real thing. And it's about time one of us Bosses talked openly about it.
It's just too easy for each of us women business owners to look at one another's polished photos and beautiful websites and think, "She has it SO together. Why can't I be like that? What is WRONG with me?"
But the truth is ... that every last one of us has thought about cashing in and taking the load off. And more than once. Yep, even the biggest Bosses.
I'm talking about when the going gets SO rough, that you start looking at the LinkedIn job listings. Or the headhunters. Shit, even Craigslist.
I have SO done that. All of it. When sales are low ... when you lose confidence ... when running your own freaking world just gets to be too much ...
The Greener Grass syndrome sneaks up on my 15-hour workday fatigue and whispers in my ear, "If you got a REAL job, you could ..."
... actually go home in the evenings
... budget a reliable income
... lower your $5,000 health insurance deductible
... stop your mother from asking what it is you "do" (yet again)
... rely on someone "else" for once
It's that last one that's the clincher.
Because the truth is that being the "Boss" day in and day out, day after day, is hard work.
The pressure is tough. Your kids are depending on you to make it. Your clients are depending on you to make it. You have to make every single decision about everything. Mission, design, prices, advertising, admin, and - god help us - then what and where the family is going to eat tonight.
So you start thinking, you know what? This might be too tough. Maybe I'd be doing myself and everybody else a favor if I just ... left the caring-about-it part up to someone else.
And that ... that right there... is where the daydream STOPS. Dead in its tracks.
In the end, I think - at least for me - it's the caring you can't give up.
It's not like "someone else" can't care AS MUCH AS you do.
It's that they can't care THE WAY you do.
The line of reasoning that takes me down the Greener Grass path several times a year always finds its Dead End sign when I realize that it is simply not POSSIBLE for me to do what I do best if I'm working for anyone other than my clients.
That's what turns me around every time. I want the measure of my usefulness to be the success that my customers get. Not a quarterly report.
I want my boss to be the new, growing business with a dream and a fire in its belly. Not a tired middle-management guy that values 10 new leads over 10 oh-my-god-you-just-saved-my-business conversations.
In the end, I am self-employed because I am a Leader. (A hard thing to own 365 days of the year, but if you ask me, a good leader always questions her qualifications to lead).
I do what I do best because I get to make the calls. I don't answer to anyone but my customer. And my conscience at the end of the day.
I am a Boss.
Because sometimes I want to quit.
But I never do.
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